Nicholas Cage Strikes Back

How shitty can you get? Nick Cage gets shitty.  Every time we got out to party I'm going Nick Cage. This dude you can totally tell that he is such a drunk. With these psychedelic freak-outs he makes first off my job a lot easier than should be and seriously what else do you think of him. Him and Bong Hits In The Hood should team up then you would have a dynamic duo of a lifetime. You stay classy Nick.

I'm speechless. "It's somewhere in the god damn fucking files, shut up bitch!"

Stoner Vid #2

Don't mess around with hoodlums from Harlem, they will rip you apart. They will hit the bong so hard and then start to sing to you. Everybody stand clear of these crazy ass kids. This time they are repping from the back of there house I am assuming which is the back of van or what they call it, there "Ambulette".  Boonnng Hits In The Hood! For You.

Coors Light Review From This Bro

Okay is this not Brad Marchand? Dudes gotten his nose broken a few times looks like, but anyways this kid how to do a review let me tell you. Not even slurring his words one bit and bringing the reference of Barley Pops and Sodas, this means this bro is one classy dude let me tell ya. If it ain't regging a super cold, throw it back. We don't want them cold, we want them super cold. Cause he knows a guy from Arizona that'll fuck with you. If they ain't registering Super Cold, back to the fridge my friend. So from now on make sure you only take the ones that are regging and you got the perfect beer.

Drunken Avalanche

Well where do we begin with this story...First this is Goaltender Semyon Varlamov of the Colorado Avalanche. Allegedly he beat up his girlfriend when he came home drunk one night. Allegedly. First off he is 7-1 when he is between the pipes so why would you wanna fuck up your career.  Now I am not saying this isn't true, I just don't want to believe it because this could really hurt my fantasy hockey team.
But anyways I'd give Varlamov the advantage in this bout. Varlamov 6 foot 3 inches 210 lbs. And the we have his girlfriend 5 foot 3 inches and weighing in just over a 100 pounds soaking wet. So yeah she gave up some size there. His father says he is not guilty and if we haven't learned this already the father is never right. But Varalamov is facing charges of major ramifications like deportation. So lastly in the wise words of Afroman's Colt 45, "I know imma cry when he get deported!"

This means is otherwise give him a slap on the wrist.

WOW You Gave Up A HR To Stephan Friggen Drew

The fake parody account of Did Stephan Drew Get A Hit? I always looked at it and all I saw was:

• Nah
• Nope
• Not today
• No
• Next time
• Nope

But during Game Six he come through for America and them his bitches. He drilled one into the bullpen and literally gave the world a big fuck you I am getting a motherfucking ring. How do you feel Mike Whacha...

Yeah not your day kid.

The Morning Headlines

We Getting St. Louis Cardinals World Series Shirts Bitches

The Cards Won In Our Hearts

 

Thank You Cards For Sucking....Now We Get Some New Gear

UNH Riots After The Redsox World Series

I DO IT FOR MY CITY!!! BOSTON!!!

So this rowdy crowd goes from the USA chants, to some European Soccer gay ass chant, but all jokes aside this is was a friggen party. Fireworks, kids climbing in trees, smoke grenades, the whole shebang.

Time to call in the big guns, the riot squad, tear gas, and then the paintball guns. What else do you got?

Some dude in a Curt Schilling jersey got his ass laid out by the cops after they rushed him. Absolutely fucking hilarious.

This Ones For The Stoners Out There

Bonnnnng Hits In The Hood..... listen to the guy that sings, might be my second favorite stoner slightly behind Seth Rogen. This guy has such pipes on him. Glee club worthy? I think so.  His first solo is at 20 seconds in. Enjoy bitches.....

Funny Video Of The Day: Starring Nicholas Cage

What am I fucking retard man, huh a fucking retard. Vive la fuckin' France man! I literally cry every time I see this. Nicholas Cage is the lowest of low and so easily to make fun of. 1. He's a terrible actor. 2. That pornstar stache makes it even better. This guy makes comedy seem so easily and I fucking hate him. Well played Nick. Well played.

Wanna Know What Grinds My Gears

The fact that Rick Dipietro is ranked an 81 in NHL 14. Are you fucking kidding me?  A person who has sucked his whole career and was sent to the minors and gave up 8 goals in first appearance in the AHL. Secondly he almost wanted to kill himself because his life/career has blown the biggest dick ever. Also Tim Thomas. Tim Fucking Thomas. His moustache killer. His ranking overrated. That fatty is a 76. No fucking way I can't believe that this tub of goo is between the pipes in Florida, oh and by the way. Obama rules.

This College Bro Gets Def Lepparded

I think this kid might be the biggest legend of all time, just sitting the bath tub with American flag wrapped around his neck getting sugar just dumped on him. This needs to become a common thing in all college campuses. But don't forget Pour Some Sugar On Me has to be playing in the back. HAHAHA you just got Def Lepparded.

When To Break Out The Carlton Dance

 

There are many times when I will break out the Carlton dance:

1. After murdering an exam/essay
2. After waking up next to a chick and realizing you have no idea how she got there
3. After the Boston Bruins win
4. While hooking up with a smoke show
5. After finishing a 3 course meal at your local IHOP
6. After successfully finding her G-spot
7. After listening to an entire Pitbull album, cause we know they suck
8. Whenever you wanna make a good first impression, just bust this out and you will be golden

I am not saying that all these events have occurred in my life, but mainly just the IHOP one hasn't. Anyways I can belt this out wherever I am cause I bring smiles to the men and panty dropping for the ladies.

The NBA Starts Tonight

Who fucking cares. I hate the NBA.

The King of Unintentional Comedy Strikes Again

If you all haven't already noticed I like to make fun of Nicholas Cage. Why might you say? Cause he is a terrible actor. This montage is fucking hilarious. Freaking the fuck out is what he does best and it is god awful that he has made so many movies. I think that my calling may be to make fun of Nicholas Cage. What's not to love? My favorite part of this video is when he absolutely round houses that Amish bitch right through the friggen wall and then a close second is when he screams out, "What am I fucking retard man, huh?" I hope you guys love Nick Cage cause this is happening daily. The people demanded it. "Could it really be this simple."

College Hockey Standings/ Rankings

Oh no we suck again. After a great start to the 2012-13 season the Wildcats of UNH, suck once again. Getting their asses handed to them by RPI, no I am not lying to you, friggen RPI.  We now stand at 1-3-1 on the season and are not even ranked anymore. I can't remember the last time we haven't even been ranked. All I am saying is they better get their ass in gear cause we play those suck bags of Umass Lowell twice this coming weekend and we need these four points. Lose both of these games and you can kiss that Hockey East Title goodbye and no post season bid. C'mon boys stop throwing huge ass parties, and smashing the pooch and focus on why you came to this school anyways and win some fucking hockey games. Can we please be ranked again?

1 Minnesota 5- 0-1
2 Notre Dame 5- 1-0
3 Providence 4- 0-1
4 Michigan 4- 1-1 
5 North Dakota 2- 1-1
6 Miami 3- 2-1 
7 Quinnipiac 6- 1-0 
8 Boston College 2- 2-1
9 St. Cloud State 3- 0-1
10 Rensselaer 4- 1-0
11 Yale 1- 1-0 
12 Lake Superior 4- 0-0
13 Wisconsin 2- 2-0
14 Cornell 2- 0-0
15 Massachusetts-Lowell 3- 3-0
16 Minnesota State 2- 2-0
17 Clarkson 6- 1-1
18 Boston University 3- 3-0
19 Northeastern 5- 1-0
20 Minnesota-Duluth 3- 2-1
 Others receiving votes: New Hampshire 106, Brown 54, Denver 47, Alaska-Anchorage 36, St. Lawrence 32, Air Force 16, Ferris State 15, Harvard 13, Alaska 12, Maine 4, Bowling Green 2

Read more: http://www.uscho.com/rankings/d-i-mens-poll/#ixzz2j7qmKOeD

Hunger Games #2

So Does The Chubby Happen Now Or? All I am saying is I cannot wait for November 22nd. The first one kicked ass and so will this one. Also a special appearance by Thad Castle from Blue Mountain State about 2:00 into the video but anyways I'm losing my train of thought, this movie is going to be friggen outstanding. Jennifer Lawrence is a dime. Time to warm up the mitts its go time!

Another Beaut From My Man JSM

Well looks like I have some practicing to do before my brothers wedding. This kid can just belt out any move. Better than MJ? Absolutely. This kid can probably go anywhere, bust out some moves and point at any girl that he wants to take home and he will. This kid is a slaying machine. I wish he gave lessons cause I'd be the first in line.

Jonny Friggen Gomes

NATICK, Mass. (Oct. 24, 2013) -- On a late June day at Fenway Park in Boston, Master Sgt. Miguel Chacon was looking on with great pleasure as Red Sox players signed autographs for his three children and dozens of others when he felt something hit him on the side.
Chacon, in uniform, looked down to see a pair of batting gloves, which he assumed that some fan had tossed down to be signed. A moment later, an usher tapped Chacon on the shoulder and told him that it was Red Sox outfielder Jonny Gomes, known for his unwavering support of the U.S. military, who had thrown them over.
Later, he was able to thank Gomes personally for the unsolicited gesture, but Chacon wanted to do more.
So when Lee Cummings, who works at the U.S. Army Research Institute of Environmental Medicine at Natick Soldier Systems Center, offered him tickets to the Sept. 15 Red Sox-Yankees game at Fenway, Chacon, the USARIEM senior enlisted advisor, brought along the Advanced Combat Helmet that he had worn in Iraq and a bag of "recruiting goodies."
On a pre-game tour of Fenway, Chacon showed the helmet to a club official and told her that he had brought it for Gomes. She escorted Chacon and fellow USARIEM Soldier Spc. Travis Crook below the stands and to a door outside the Red Sox clubhouse.
"About three minutes later, here comes Jonny Gomes through the door!" Chacon said. "I reached into the bag and I said, 'This is the helmet that I had in combat.'"
Chacon told Gomes that he wanted him to have it.
http://www.army.mil/article/113778/A_Soldier_s_gift_to_a_ballplayer

What a warrior this man is. I can not get enough of him. Absolute class act towards the troops and an total boss. In Jonny We Trust.

Wrecking Ball Like You've Never Seen Before

I think the first time I saw this I immediately dropped to the ground laughing my ass off. Even though this is a parody, its so god damn funny because Nicholas Cage would probably do this money cause career has gone down the shitter. Needless to say this would probably be one of his better movies. National Treasure was okay at best. Ghost Rider blew. The Wicker Man crap. World Trade Center not a single tear drop to my eye. All in all this is his best work and he didn't even do it, that's the funny part. This ones for you Nick, the secret lies with Charlotte.

Head Of The Motherfucking State

This might be the song of the year for me. Yeah Operah that's my motherfucking nigga! Best line of the whole song. I see this is what happens in the suburbs of the ATL. Try watching this video without friggen laughing cause I can't.

Banging Out A Few Notes

After an early morning shred fest hike up Pawtuckaway, I had to just post this beauty. Cruising down the freeway in the car and not just any car, the spitfire 2014 Toyota Pussy Magnet Corolla, this gem came on the radio. Of course I belt this song out, hitting every note. People going by us saying damn this kids got some pipes on him. If anybody doesn't know this by Chumbawamba, then just have no soul. Car rides suck, but not with me. I'll bring you laughter and embarrassment. So buckle up and enjoy this roadshow.

The Real Reason Why Nathan Horton Left Boston

So I don't know if this has come up before, but I will be the first to open my mouth about this subject. I have come to conclusion that the real reason why Nathan Horton left the Black and Gold was because Tyler Seguin was banging his wife. I am not making this up one bit, According to my source on the inside of the Bruins, Seguin was messing around with his smokeshow wife. My opinion is that Seguin was the first to go and then Horton said the hell with it, I'm fucking out too, done with that shit and everybody's shit.  Horton was by far my favorite player on the Bruins, oh yeah and with a smoking wife, that's double points my friend. I can totally see this happening too, a man with concussion syndromes and headaches all the time and then you have a young stallion in Seguin who thinks he is Sir Issac Newton of sex. Yeah lady you be the judge,who would you choose? Hortons my man and I wished he stayed in Boston but I am so glad this goon and his herpes are shipping down to Dallas where he can have a field day with those Stars ice girls.



Yeah just saying that Lucky bastard Seguin got his ways with this dime piece. I mean I would were to have an affair I would not mind if it was Tammy Horton. God damn I love hockey from this picture. But now we know that Brad Marchand will not be getting into any BU frat house parties without his wing man Segs.
 

Clemson Tigs Get It Done

 

 

Well after last week I never lost faith in my Tigers. They came back this week and stomped the Turtles 40-27 in Death Valley today. Yeah I have shirt that say Death Valley its badass because the Tigers will rip your throat. The Taj Manian Devil threw a TD and a pick but nobody cares about the INT. But whatever he threw for 304 yards and ran the fuck outta the ball. Oh yeah and also some no name scrub they call Roderick McDowell, yeah he had a good day too. But the turtles lived up their name slow and steady does not get the job unless your like Kyle over here mister whiskey dick. Anyways Sammy Wah Wah Watkins went off went again catching 13 balls and running like theres no tomorrow for only 163 yards, can you say young AJ Green. Cause I can. But yeah the Tigs are now 6-1, hopefully we in hold out for the Meineke Car Care Bowl or Orange Bowl.

Like a boss.

MIT Kids Go Hard

Boston Globe- Officials in Boston have indefinitely banned parties and other large gatherings at MIT fraternities, sororities, and other independent living groups located in the city, about a month after an 18-year-old MIT student fell four stories through a skylight and injured himself.
Two Massachusetts Institute of Technology administrators and two leaders of associations that oversee fraternities, sororities, and independent living groups sent e-mail to the organizations Friday saying that until the city issues new inspection certificates, the off-campus groups cannot host gatherings that involve more than the number of people who are legally permitted to live at each location. There are about 18 MIT fraternities, three sororities, and two independent living groups within the Boston city limits, according to MIT’s online map of the organizations’ locations.
On Sept. 11, a student fell through a skylight at the Phi Sigma Kappa fraternity house at 487 Commonwealth Ave. The house was issued several citations, including for alcohol violations and having an unpermitted roof deck. Officials at Boston’s Inspectional Services Department said they would crack down on other potentially unsafe off-campus properties.
http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/10/22/boston-indefinitely-bans-mit-parties-and-large-gatherings-city-limits/GXE5rKB6apk2LytwTLfe1L/story.html

So in other news this is just saying that MIT kids party way to friggen hard. Next time they think about running a train on some sororities sluts why don't you look where you are cause you may go through a sunlight dummy. Aren't these kids suppose to be smart enough to realize that yeah I am stepping on a window. But remember if you step on glass window and fall, hey your too fat. Why don't you scumbags lay off the Michelob Ultra and work on raising them SAT scores to perfection cause you guys are going no where in life.

If you balls to do this, then you go hard.

Johnny "Hockey" Gaudreau

Okay we all know of Johnny Football from Texas A&M, but here is Johnny Hockey from Boston College. If I had a man crush on anybody from the Men's NCAA it sure enough would be Johnny Gaudreau. This kid is already drafted by the Calgary Flames, played for the USA World Junior Team where he completely tore it up and won a gold medal. This little spitfire has absolute bomb cannon of a shot, speedy wheels from this forward netted him 36 goals his freshmen year. "He's a Freshmen", yeah he'd put you to shame. Now in his junior year this kid stands at 5 feet 6 inches, little taller on skates, the 20 year old slays more poon than anybody in New England. The puck sluts love this kid, choosing to stay in college and throwback beers, party non-stop, take one class, and push his junk to any girl he points at. Yeah this kid gets it. People say he is going to be to small for the NHL and you know what I say to that. Fuck em. This stud is going to be taking clappers in the high slot, doing figure 8's around all those goons that give him shit. I'm just calling it right now, BC is legit and they WILL win the National Championship this year. Just add another ring to the collection kid. Stand out in juniors, stand out in the NCAA, and soon to be standout with the Calgary Flames. Watch out Mike Cammalleri, Johnny's coming for ya job. Packing lips and putting the biscuit in the basket since 1993.

I friggen love this kid.

American International Ice Hockey Sucks Huh?

Well these guys got rocked last weekend against Providence College. Playing in D1 hockey you lose 10-4 to a bunch of suck bags from P-town. As bad as this gets one kid just didn't go off, the whole team. Providence recorded 10 goals by 10 different players. If you let in 10 goals just sit down please. That's just a straight kick to the nut sack. For AIC that must have a dreadful ride back to the slums of Springfield, MA. This was just as bad as Jim Craig playing against mother Russia in the 1980 scrimmage before Lake Placid. Now I'm not saying that AIC is going to bounce back and win a national championship, but lets be honest I think they can't get much worse. I think they slackers need the good ole Herb Brooks speech before they hit the  ice next time so they don't lose their dignity. Get the duck boats ready anyone? If these guys make the postseason, I will streak into campus wearing nothing but my huge smile.

So Has Johnny Manziel Hit Katherine Webb Yet?

I think it is the topic on all of our minds right now. Since Texas A&M is 5-2, I think the Aggies need their cocky, money making QB to get his mojo back. And what better to do that by banging Katherine Webb. Ever since she cut ties that pretty boy AJ McCarron, (who now is banging a pretty sexy looking chica) Webb is probably just looking to get it in the celebs. I literally can't think of anything better than it being Johnny Football. Hey AJ I hope Johnny is cashing checks and signing autographs when he enters your ex.

YUP. Make it happen Johnny.

Royals- New Favorite Chick Song

First off I'm gonna say this girl has some friggen pipes on her. This chick is 16 and sounds a lot like my favorite chubby bunny Adele, only that she is a lot skinnier and the legal of consent in the state of New Hampshire. I'll take it my friend. Honey I will call you Queen B anytime you want.

Kendrick Aftermath

I woke up this morning with the biggest hangover. Head pounding and shit, but yeah I still went to work. Well Moufy spit New England Rollin and left. We tipped back a few Molson's right before the big man came on and I was fired up. Kendrick sure lived up to hype. He said motherfucker a lot so I mean felt right home. This dube smoking grind fest turned out to be a legendary night. His best  song was Backseat Freestyle, you knobs will have to settle M.A.A.D City.

Take A Look At This College Golf Ball Whacker Guy

This golfer bro has nothing short of a flawless swing. Just fucking murdering this yellow golf ball into the water means he doesn't mess around when it comes to the big leagues. Crushing balls over 275 yards, waking up at the crack of dawn to hit the range while his booze bag competition is waking up with a hungover. I'd give the edge to this kid any day of week. Anybody who wears a yellow shirt and sticks out like a sore thumb then that's an A in my book.  You definitely don't want a round house kick to the face with those badass bright white shorts on. No grass stains on them bad boys, wanna know why? Cause its fucking official. Titleist or Callaway. Fuck that. He'll sink shots with a god damn Top Flite. Sign em up for the Presidents Cup. This American lays down more sloots than Tiger did back in '09.  Sinking putts and smashing sluts.

This Kid Goes Fucking In!!!!

I have some moves to learn before I hit the bars...I will be able to wheel all night long on the luck ladies that wanna tango. It's time to put on them dancing shoes.

Moufy

Moufy be the king, better yet president. The dumbest person east of the Mississippi makes his way North to UNH. Opening up for Kendrick is not an honor maybe just a spoof. But the star gang affiliates are going to in full swing tomorrow night. Moufy's been panty dropping and making girls wet in Roxbury since the day he spit his mix tape. Coming from the kid who says he does not fuck with law enforcement because he can not even spell "COP", well now we know this kid is retarded. maybe his rap game is a little better than his spelling. How'd he pass the 1st grade with that attitude. Anyways looks like its time to get really high for this one and take one for the team.

Kendrick Lamar Comes To UNH

 Kendrick Lamar is coming to a party central, rolling face infested campus of UNH. Putting Compton, CA in his rear view and coming to the cow shit smelling campus in the Northeast bumfuck of the US. for our troubles he should at least stay for an after party. For 120k he better. I waited in line for over 6 hours for this ticket and he better give me the sympathy for listening to his gangster shit music. You say every time you in the city you hear yak yak yak! Yeah that's what your hearing from every student when you leave the arena. People passed out on the floor, arrests being made for absolute bullshit, just cause I want to smuggle in a joint doesn't mean I should be punished. Whatever I am going to this concert no matter what, Moufy is my nig and I wanna see him perform New England Rollin and I am a happy man. Fuck Kendrick.
 

Kendrick have a dream.